I have a crazy idea.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 06/08/2018 at 20:47 • Filed to: Marriages can be built on lies

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Hear me out: In the future, I’m thinking about making a white lie to my wife, like that I need to take the Vibe in somewhere for a tire rotation or whatever. I come home later in the day and we have dinner. The next morning, she leaves for work but doesn’t see her car, but an early RX300 in white that she really likes. What do you think?

gmctavish needs more space > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 20:51

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Depends how attached she gets to inanimate objects. I think that’s a really good idea, unless she’s likely to be sad she didn’t get to say goodbye to the Toyotiac

His Stigness > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 20:54

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Marriages can be built on lies?

I thought they were?

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 20:55

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Only if it has >300,000 miles.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > His Stigness 06/08/2018 at 20:58

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Marriages are actually built, on deep, dark secrets that should you ever break up, you risk letting the worst things you’ve ever done leaking out into the world and ruining yours and several others’ lives. It’s more of a long-term armistice for the greater good



jkm7680 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 20:58

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Every one of these I have been near smells like spoiled milk and booty sweat.

Steve in Manhattan > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 20:59

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This is a Christmas morning thing, with a big red bow. Also, make damn sure she doesn’t want a Highlander or (shudder) a Pathfinder.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 21:00

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My wife would literally cry if I sold a car out from under her with no warning.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 06/08/2018 at 21:01

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Im not convinced my wife would care at all sometimes 

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 21:02

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My wife doesn’t necessarily fall in love with cars, she just doesn’t like big changes without a warning.  

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > jkm7680 06/08/2018 at 21:03

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Ur face something something 4.5' something something

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 06/08/2018 at 21:05

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I don’t necessarily have to sell the Vibe. Old RXs are cheap enough.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 21:09

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That’s not a white lie. That’s a major financial investment that should be made as a couple.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 21:10

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Mutually Assured Social Suicide.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 21:10

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Oh then your good

Chariotoflove > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 21:11

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The big problem with this is that most wives don’t like these kinds of surprises. It makes them feel out of the loop on a crucial financial decision. This of course changes once you reach a disposable income level where car purchases don’t drastically impact family finances, a state I am sure you will achieve any minute now.

Also, all generations of RX are ugly.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/08/2018 at 21:13

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Four grand is major? That’s like 3.7 running Paseos

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 21:18

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$4k is a month of income for many people. Imagine working for a month and not seeing any money for it.

wafflesnfalafel > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 21:22

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Edit - I apologize for the inappropriate text on this photo - honestly dropped the pic before realizing...

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/08/2018 at 21:22

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But it’s not a 4k loss. The Vibe is actually worth more than an old RX, so in theory the subsequent sale of the car actually nets a minor profit

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > wafflesnfalafel 06/08/2018 at 21:23

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That’s an expensive blow job

dogisbadob > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 21:29

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It’s not December to Remember without the big red bow on the grille :p

Little Black Coupe Turned Silver > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 21:29

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As long as you aren’t actually getting rid of the Vibe, go for it. Hide it for a day and surprise, fine, but don’t sell someone’s car without warning.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 21:29

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“I don’t necessarily have to sell the Vibe.”

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Chariotoflove 06/08/2018 at 21:32

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Well I can tell you which one of us walked into the house we’re buying and said, “I want this house!” Can you guess? Can ya?  So I’d say she’s pretty involved with major financial decisions.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/08/2018 at 21:33

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So maybe I got a whopping extra 4 grand laying around. I’m not gonna feel bad about it.

Chariotoflove > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 21:36

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Well duh.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 06/08/2018 at 21:40

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No, then it would probably be for me.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 21:42

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So what you’re saying is that you’d be perfectly fine if your wife went out and spent $4k on a whim without saying anything to you about it?

His Stigness > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 23:29

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Well thanks for the advice. I never really wanted to get married anyways .

Tristan > jkm7680 06/08/2018 at 23:34

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You’re not wrong... Every one I’ve looked at has 300,000 miles and copious stank.

smobgirl > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 23:53

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I wouldn’t cry if I woke up tomorrow and my Abarth was magically the baby blue one and hail-dent free, but I might be grumpy even if it magically turned into a Golf R or a Focus RS. You know your wife, I’m staying out of this one.

RPM esq. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2018 at 23:57

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Assuming it’s financially realistic, I say do it. That sounds super fun.

My vote is sincere but it would be unfair of me not to caution you that I am effectively divorced, albeit amicably, despite never actually having been married.

RPM esq. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/09/2018 at 00:06

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I enjoy Fancy Kristen articles on the front page, and I’m a big fan of Fancy Zoidberg. I’m glad to see the chandelier inspection and/or gigolo game is treating you well.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > RPM esq. 06/09/2018 at 00:13

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A 16 year old Lexus and a house larger than 886 sq ft, yet I’ve been feeling like a bit of a pariah lately

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > smobgirl 06/09/2018 at 01:53

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Visualizing this, as long as it wasn’t a bad trade and didn’t involve money we shouldn’t be spending, I’d be happy with this. I don’t hate my car and see no reason to replace it, but if she could do it without it being a financial drain, I wouldn’t care.

I’d also gladly drive my current FoST for the 20+ years I’m likely to own it...

DipodomysDeserti > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/09/2018 at 08:44

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The Zoidberg to Remember Event at you local Carmax dealer.

boxrocket > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/09/2018 at 09:19

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$4K can get you an RX330, though, which - mathematically - is more.